No One Said Forever Was Easy
by Number1tenthd.rfan
Summary: Rose Tyler misses the Doctor and it's starting to affect her relationship with John Smith. So when she ends up breaking his heart and John leaves, Rose realizes how much she really loves him and wants him to come back but is it too late? Hope you like it!
1. Chapter 1

"He's not you." She insisted. The Doctor shook his head and replied. "He needs you that's very me." Those words still repeated in Rose Tyler's head like a cruel echo. She was so deep in thought that she was startled by a pair of arms hugging her waist.

It was John, the human Doctor. It took a second to remember she wasn't at Bad Wolf Bay. She was in her bed staring blankly at the wall. Rose felt him kiss the back of her neck; she turned over she gave him a weak smile. "You alright?" He frowned. Rose nodded. "Yeah just trying to wake up." She lied.

John smiled and kissed her forehead before getting out of bed to hurry into the shower. Rose laid on her back sighing with relief but at the same time she felt terrible. Rose liked John but deep in her heart he was nothing more than an echo or a clone. He might've looked like the Doctor, sounded like him, had the same mind but he was not her Doctor. Rose managed to pull herself out of bed and slowly got ready for work.

Rose and John worked at Torchwood run by Pete Tyler, her father. He was so happy he when found out about John but he was ecstatic when he found out he had the Doctor's intelligence he wasted no time hiring him.

Pete called John a valuable asset for Torchwood and put him to work in the alien research lab but he couldn't wait for the day when he could call John his son-in-law.

Rose took one last glance in the mirror and hurried out the door with John. The car ride to work was long and quiet but it was always like that. John tried to make conversation but Rose just grunted or made excuses that she had a headache or wasn't feeling well. As soon as they got to Torchwood Rose hurried out the car. She felt so awkward being alone with him. She gave him a quick kiss and headed to her department leaving John once again to wonder what it was he had done so wrong to make her run away from him.

Rose enjoyed her position at Torchwood. She was in charge of weapons and was awarded with a silver medal for being one of Torchwood's finest soldiers. It was an honor Rose had to very work hard for despite being Pete Tyler's daughter. She had to give him that, he was fair. Here no one got special treatment for any reason.

When Rose got to the testing lab she automatically recognize blond spiky hair coming her way. It was Jake her lab partner and fellow soldier. She smiled "Hey Jake how's it going?" He grinned and said "I just got the privilege of testing out our new laser cannon!" Rose eyes widen "No kidding?" smiling with delight. "I can't believe dad approved the project. That must have cost a fortune." Jake's smile got bigger. "Nope, John came up with a cost effective design and it was made in no time." "Oh, well that's good." Her voice softening.

He stared at Rose puzzled. "What's the matter?" She lowered her head in guilt and glanced at him. Jake I can trust you, right?" "Of course." He nodded. "Well I really like John but…" She paused. "But you feel he's not the proper Doctor?" He finished for her.

Rose nodded in shame. "That's not all." She motioned him to come closer. "Look." She said showing Jake her cell phone. Jake squinted at the screen before realizing what he was looking at. Rose still had the Doctor's phone number. "How did you get this?" He whispered. Rose shrugged. "I forgot it was there. Apparently I never deleted it from my contacts list." He shot her a look. "Honest." She protested.

Jake threw his hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay if you say so. Are you going to call it?" Rose shrugged. "I don't know yet." "You can't, you'll hurt John." Jake protested. She sighed. "I haven't made any final decisions." He then asked. "Have you told John yet?" "No and neither are you." Rose firmly told him. She glanced over his shoulder and saw John coming. "I've got to go. Now remember don't tell him." She warned. Jake reluctantly nodded and promised not to say anything.


	2. Chapter 2

Hearing John behind him Jake spun around and immediately distracted him. "Hey, John how are you?" John glanced at him funny. "Um I'm fine, why?" "What a friend can't ask another friend how they're doing?" Jake asked. John smiled. "I'm sorry I'm just worried about Rose." "Why?" He asked. John sighed. "She won't talk to me, look at me or even barely touch me. I don't know what I've done wrong."

Jake wanted to tell him so badly but instead he scoffed and said. "I'm sure it's nothing. You know Rose, she's always preoccupied with work." John shrugged. "I guess." Jake grinned and patted him on the back. "That a boy, now come on we got to go finish that computer vortex design."

Rose had managed to finish work before John so she was able to get home early; she sat on the couch staring at her phone almost concentrating on that TARDIS phone number as if it were going to start talking to her. The burning question of whether she should call it or not kept nagging her brain. Rose was still looking at it when she heard the door unlocking, panicking she tossed the phone back into her purse.

John slowly walked in. "Hi, surprised to see you here first." Rose shrugged. "Yeah well I finished early so I took the bus home." "What you've been up to?" He asked. "Nothing." She lied. He smiled and sat beside her, putting his arm around her he asked. "Anything you want to do tonight?" He kissed her neck; it sent shivers down her spine. She was tempted to linger in his arms a bit longer but she shook her head. "I can't I'm busy. It's been a long day; I'm going to take a quick shower."

Rose headed for the bathroom, she paused and glanced behind her. John sat there deflated, looking so hurt. "Maybe tomorrow night we can do something?" She suggested, kissing his cheek. He perked up a little. "Yeah, that would be great." She gave him a reassuring smile before going to her shower. Sitting back into the couch John smiled. "Maybe Jake's right maybe it is all in my head."

The next morning John was in the research lab with Jake they were going over files for a top-secret device but they hit a snag when they couldn't remember the password. "What do we do now?" Jake asked. John thought a minuet. "I know I'll call Pete, he should have it." But then he realized he didn't have his phone. "Dang, I must have left my cell phone at home."

"You can use mine." Jake offered. John shook his head when he spotted Rose's phone was nearby. "That's okay I'll just use Rose's phone." Realizing what he was about to do Jake tried to snatch the phone from him but it was too late. John's relaxed expression quickly turned upset. "I'm sorry man, I wanted to tell you."

John glared at him. "Oh so you knew and you wanted to tell me? Hell a lot good that does me! I thought you were my friend!" He said storming out. "I am and I'm sorry, man!" Jake insisted. "You know what just save it. I'm done, thanks for nothing, pal." John replied shoving the doors open. Jake mentally kicked himself for not being honest then slammed his fist against the file cabinet in frustration.

That night Rose came home and found John standing in the middle of the living room looking serious. "Something wrong?" she asked, placing her purse on the coffee table. "Do you have your phone?" He asked her.

Rose shook her head. "No and I can't find it. Why, have you seen it?" Instead of answering John reached into his pocket and pulled out her cell phone. Her eyes widen as he calmly held it up to her. "I'm sorr-" She was about to say but he stopped her. "Don't just don't." He replied. "Well, what do you want me to say to you?" Rose asked.

"I want you tell me why am I not good enough for you?" He replied feeling exasperated. "It's not that you're not good enough it's that you're not him. You're just not him." Rose answered so cold. "I am the Doctor." John protested.

She shook her head. "No, John you're not. You're an echo, a copy, a clone! I can't love a copy!" She exclaimed thru her tears. Rose's words stung John so badly. Choking back his own tears, he said. "I'm also a man; a man who promised his one life and one beating heart to you but I guess that's not enough."

She avoided his eyes. "Is that all you were going to say, John?" He sighed. "No, I'm also a man who can't take this anymore and if I walk out that door I'm not coming back." Rose wanted to beg him to stay but pride wouldn't let her speak. John grabbed his jacket and threw together a quick overnight bag. "I'll come by later for the rest of my things."

He said going for the door. Rose kept her back turned as he left but then John paused and said. "I love you, Rose Tyler." Hearing the door finally shut Rose lashed out in despair and hurled a picture frame at the door, shattering the photo of the smiling couple.


	3. Chapter 3

Rose woke up the next morning and placed her hand on the back of her neck where John would kiss her every day. She wasn't sure why she did that nor did she care at the moment, the only thing she knew was she felt like a train had hit her.

Rose slowly walked to the bathroom; she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. mascara streaks formed as reminders of her tears, her eyes felt tired.

She felt visibly and emotionally exhausted but she still had a job to do.

"I'm not going to let him bring me down. I'll show him." Rose thought to herself. Taking a deep breath she prepared for work.

John walked into work not really feeling 100 percent but he was coping. Jake spotted him and hurried towards him. "Hey John, can we talk for a second?"

John nodded. Pulling him aside John said. "What's up?" Jake sighed. "I'm sorry; man I should have told you about the phone number. I completely understand your feelings and if you want to pound my face in I wouldn't blame you."

John smirked. "It's okay. I was just mad." Jake perked up. "So I'm forgiven?"

"Yeah." John replied. "But do that again and I will pound you." He slightly joked.

"Works for me!" Jake answered happily. The two fist bumped and headed to their departments.

"If only it were that easy to make up with Rose." John thought sadly.

Rose really wasn't up for explaining why she and John weren't together so for the next few days she pretty much avoided anyone she knew.

She never spoke to John much except when they had to which wasn't often but eventually that awkward moment was bound to happen.

Rose was walking down the hall when she accidentally bumped into John. "Sorry." He said.

Rose gave a weak smile; noticing he looked really handsome. "It's okay; I wasn't watching where I was going."

"So how are you?" He asked.

"I'm fine just fine." She replied even though Rose was lying thru her teeth.

John nodded. "I'm glad. Well, bye." He said. "Bye." Rose replied.

John watched her walk away. "I guess she's over me." He thought feeling dejected.

Later that day Rose was leaving work when she remembered she had forgotten some worksheets in Pete's office, she sighed and went back inside.

She hadn't gotten far when Rose spotted John standing rather close and talking to Amy, a fiery red-head all the guys were after.

Rose felt her heart-break and she literally ran for the exit.

Standing outside she felt mixed emotions. Rose was upset but guilt ridden at the same time.

What really got to her the most was John wasn't talking to Amy to make her jealous; he was talking to her because Amy liked him for who he was just like she should have. Rose realized.

Feeling deflated she forgot about the worksheets and just went home.


	4. Chapter 4

Rose came home in a foul mood. "I hate him!" she exclaimed. She threw her jacket on the floor and lay on the couch staring at the ceiling.

After a few minutes she sat up and decided to get comfortable, removing her work attire she slipped into a pair of grey sweats and a pink tank top.

Rose was feeling a little better when she spotted a blue jacket sticking out of the rack.

Rose took the jacket off the hanger for a closer look.

It was John's blue suit jacket; the one he wore on Bad Wolf Bay. She felt a stab to her already fragile heart.

A flood of memories came back to Rose; the promise of together, the pledge of his one life and one heart to her.

John had made those promises because he was the one who chose to stay when the other had left. He loved her and she blew it.

Her heart jumped in her throat as her tears began falling.

Hot and stinging they ran down her cheeks, she crouched to the floor clutching the jacket to her chest like a security blanket.

Rose wept letting his garment catch her tears.

Then there was a knock at the door Rose somehow managed to compose herself to answer it, it was Jackie her mother.

"Hi mum." Giving her a weak smile.

Jackie hugged her. "So what happened?"

"What are you talking about?" Rose asked wiping her eyes.

"Well, word is that you and John aren't together anymore." Jackie replied.

She frowned. "Yeah, well Jake's got a big mouth."

Jackie shook her head. "So it is true." Trying to hide her aching heart, Rose shrugged in response.

"Are you alright?" She asked her.

"I'm fine. I don't miss him." Rose insisted plopping herself on the couch.

Jackie sat across from her on the coffee table. "Then why is his jacket in your hand?"

She sighed. "Okay, okay I miss him, happy now?" Rose admitted.

She sat on the couch next to Rose. "No, because you're not happy."

"So what should I do?" Rose asked staring at her feet.

"Have you tried calling him?" She replied.

Rose shook her head. "After what I said I think I'm the last person he wants to talk to."

"I could call him." Jackie suggested.

"Don't you dare!" Rose protested.

She sighed. "Alright, alright I won't; look I've got to get going. I'll check on you later sweet heart." She kissed Rose on the forehead and left.

Sitting there Rose shook her head she knew her mother was leaving to call John.

That night Rose lay there on the couch in her robe and a pillow, she didn't feel like sleeping in her bed it was just too lonely and dark.

She was flipping thru the T.V channels trying to find something that wasn't about love.

She finally had to settle for the news.

Rose had just gotten comfortable when a knock came on her door, she glanced at the clock it said 10:10 p.m.

Puzzled she tightened her robe and looked thru the peep-hole, it was John.

Rose quickly opened it. "John!" she almost gushed.

He smiled. "Hi sorry to bother you but Jackie said you wanted to see me."

Suddenly she was thankful for having a nosy mother. "Yes, do you want to come in?"

He shook his head. "No I'm kind of busy but thanks anyway."

"Oh, well I was wondering if you would like to come to dinner this Friday night." She asked.

John looked hesitant. "I don't know."

"Come on dinner between friends? You can even pick on my cooking." She added.

He smirked. "Okay, besides there's something I need to tell you."

"That's fine, how about 8:00 p.m.?" She suggested.

John nodded. "Sounds good, I'll see you then." He smiled at her before walking away

Closing the door Rose was dancing on air but John was shaking his head dreading the news he had to tell her.


	5. Chapter 5

John was standing outside Rose's door debating if he should knock; he had never felt so nervous in his life especially now.

Taking a deep breath he knocked, the door opened and he was taken aback by how beautiful Rose looked.

She was wearing a black mini dress and heels, her hair was messy but in an elegant way.

John felt sub conscious standing in his jeans, black shirt and opened dark red button down shirt.

Rose smiled. "Hi, John come in."

He felt tongue-tied. "You look lovely."

She grinned. "So can I get you something to drink?"

"Uh, what you got?" He asked shoving his hands in his pockets.

"I've got wine or soda?" She said.

He thought about it. "I'm driving so I'll take a soda."

Rose nodded. "Okay and I'll have wine." She handed him a cold root beer.

They sat on the sofa and stayed silent for a couple of very awkward minutes.

Rose slowly glanced at him. "You look wonderful."

He smiled. "Not as nice you do."

She blushed and took a sip from her glass. "How have you been?" She asked.

John nodded. "Fine. Just fine."

"Where are you staying, now?" Rose asked him.

He sighed. "I've got a little flat downtown. Amy hooked me up, her father is a land lord so I talked to her the other day and she introduced me to her dad."

"So you're not dating her?" Rose said with slight hope in her voice.

John chuckled. "No way, she's not my type."

Rose was relieved but try to be subtle about it. "So ready for dinner, don't worry I didn't cook it." She joked.

He smiled. "I never thought your food was that bad." John replied sitting at the table.

She smiled thoughtfully at him.

Things were going fine during dinner but halfway thru Rose noticed something was wrong with John. "You're awfully quiet."

He shrugged. "I've got a lot on my mind."

"Well I'm here to listen." Rose replied.

He smirked. "I never could hide anything from you so I guess I'd better tell you now."

She swallowed hard. "Tell me what?"

John sighed. "I know it's been awkward working with me since the breakup."

"No it hasn't." Rose insisted.

He shook his head. "Don't lie; it's been hard on us both."

John rubbed the back of his neck,searching for the right words to say.

Finally he blurted out. "I-I've accepted a job offer from U.N.I.T."

Rose's heart sank. "You what?"

"I'll be leaving in a week or so. I promise I'll be out of your life soon." He said softly.

She shook her head. "Wait you love Torchwood."

John nodded. "I do and I think your dad's great."

"Then don't go." She begged.

He stood from the table. "I've got to, it's best for both of us if I leave."

John walked behind her and gently kissed her on top of her head.

"Goodbye, Rose Tyler." He said leaving.

Her eyes closed at those painful words.

Closing the door John was tempted to go back, he wanted to go back but he shook his head and kept going.

Rose dashed from the table and opened the door, hoping to stop him but it was too late. John was gone.

She slammed the door feeling devastated.

Looking around Rose felt surrounded by too many memories.

She felt trapped and alone in her apartment.

Rose had to get out, she needed to get away.

She rushed to the phone and began dialing her parents house.

"Hello?" Jackie's tired voice answered.

"Mum?" Rose cried.

"Honey what is it?" She replied alert and worried.

She struggled to get her words out. "Ca-can I com-come over?" Rose sobbed.


	6. Chapter 6

Rose woke up with a start, looking around she almost forgot where she was but the familiar polka dot pajamas and flowered comforter reminded her she was back in her old bed at her parents' house.

Pete and Jackie were so worried when they saw the state Rose was in they decided to drive her to their house themselves.

Unable to go back to sleep she got out of bed and sat on the windowsill watching the zeppelins flying by.

She leaned her head against the window frame; Rose was missing John and everything about him.

She somehow managed to tell her parents in between sobs what had happened.

As expected she got the usual apologies and life will get better speech but it didn't make her feel any better.

Rose knew it was her fault and maybe he was better off without her.

She spotted her cell phone on the dresser; Rose picked it up and stared at the TARDIS phone number.

Rose sadly smiled thinking about all those times she had with the Doctor but that's all they were now fond memories.

What she had with the Doctor were special but that was the past, who she was then was not the girl she was now.

Rose swallowed she knew it was time to let go.

Her eyes began tearing as she pushed the delete button before putting her phone away.

She felt a heavy release off her shoulders but it was bittersweet.

"I wish I had done that a long time ago." Rose thought wiping her eyes.

"Too bad it won't bring John back to me." She sniffed.

John wasn't having much of a restful night either, he kept tossing and turning in bed.

Eventually he sat up and was feeling hot and sweaty, his mind was overwhelmed with dread.

Sighing, he gave up and decided to take a drive out to the bay and clear his mind.

Pulling on an old shirt and jeans he hopped into his jeep and drove off.

The cool air felt good compare to his stuffy apartment.

When he reached the bay he felt like he could breathe again.

John sat on the cool sand and stared at the ocean, he loved coming here it was the ideal place to think about things.

He still felt a lot of anxiety, John was really dreading working for U.N.I.T.

He wanted to stay at Torchwood.

He loved it there, the technology, the people and Pete Tyler was a great boss but it was too painful to stick around with Rose there.

"She really broke my heart." John thought to himself.

Deep down as much as he wanted to hate her he couldn't do it.

John still loved Rose but he saw no point in beating his head against a wall.

He sighed and began running his fingers thru the wet sand.

Then an older couple caught his eye.

They were walking hand in hand along the beach, it made John think of him and Rose.

John wiped his eyes as he watched them, they looked so happy and in love.

"We could've had that, we should've been that. He thought shaking his head.

John started tearing up. "Why couldn't she love me?' He wondered.

Then the couple waved to him.

John quickly wiped his eyes as they approached him.

They smiled at John and asked him."Excuse me young man, could you take a photo of me and my wife?"

"It's our anniversary and since this is where we first met we'd really appreciate to have a photo taken here." the woman explained further.

John smiled sadly. "Sure, I love to."

They smiled and handed him the camera before posing.

Sadness filled his eyes and his heart was breaking he as watched them lovingly embrace, reminding him Rose would never be his.

John held the camera to his face hoping they wouldn't notice the tears building in his eyes.


End file.
